A Warm Embrace: My Reflections on 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers
Book Review
A warm embrace of loving kindness. That would be my review if I had to sum it up in 6 words.
I heard about ‘Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers more than 10 years ago, because a friend of a friend used to deliver the training course. Sadly, I didn’t get a copy until my Christmas list of 2023 was faithfully delivered by Santa. In 2024, I’ve set myself the challenge of 12 books in 12 months and Feel the Fear is number 5 on the list.
The book sets out the limiting beliefs and fears we have that hold us back, and how actually, the fears are just stories we tell ourselves and ‘what ifs’ that aim to mitigate against risks. Actually those stories often achieve nothing more than to hold us back. The stories come, of course from the narratives we develop about our worlds and ourselves from our life experiences and upbringings, for good or for ill. But, as Susan says…
“At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you can’t handle whatever life may bring you.”
Susan sets out 5 truths about fear. Truths 2 and 3 declare that the antidote to fear is to simply ‘do it’. Whether you’re thinking about attending that job interview, giving that presentation or speaking up about that thing that’s bothering you, the answer is: ‘do it’. Feel the fear, listen to what it’s telling you, check out the advice it’s giving you, go with your intuition and do it.
I can’t ever remember being a fearless child, actually I think I was probably quite a proficient risk assessor. But then, as now, I’ve always had the little voice in my head saying, ‘oh well, you may as well do it, it’s only 20 minutes out of your life’, ‘oh well, if it doesn’t work out, no-one’s going to die’, ‘oh well, maybe it will work out ok’ and I’ve done it anyway. As I’ve got older and become more interested in self-awareness, it’s become a more conscious ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ voice, and I’ve found myself saying the phrase to others too - even before I read the book. But, as I continue to meet new people and discover how different the paths they’ve trodden are, I’m very mindful that their internal voices may not be like mine. People’s lives have been impacted by trauma in childhood or negative events in adulthood meaning that their fears limit their growth and prevent them from taking opportunities that might just turn out to be magnificent.
I was lucky to pick up the 25th anniversary edition of Susan’s book, which had additional reader stories added to the end of every chapter. The share some invites into the fear and limiting beliefs people had and how the book helped them see things differently and pursue the things that deep inside, they always wanted to do. They really serve to bring the impact of the book’s message right in to your living room.
I absolutely subscribe to Susan’s idea about saying ‘yes’ to the universe. She describes this idea as seeing the positives and making the best of whatever comes. If you get that job - you’ll be just fine. If you don’t get that job - you’ll be just fine. If your best friend moves away - you’ll be just fine If your loved one dies - you’ll be just fine. You may feel fear, but the fear won’t limit you, it will help you manage risks and manoeuvre yourself but ultimately, you can handle it, if you make the best of what you have.
One of the things I love about the book is at the very end. Susan talks about a ‘higher self’ as the inner connection of mind, body and spirit that we need to tap into to help us move into our power. For me this aligns with my idea of ‘self’: the self that exists when there is ‘self-awareness’. Sometimes I’m asked why I called my book ‘The Self-Awareness Superhighway’ and I reply by describing a journey on a road high above the trees that gives us enhanced visibility by elevating us above our day to day existence. I wish I’d read this book before penning my own, as I’d have described a superhighway as a way to get to the vantage point needed to see the ‘higher self’.
This is such a good, kind and thoughtful book. I’m so glad I finally got to read it. I hope people who want to make change in their lives, try new experiences and leave the past behind are able to feel the fear, and with the help of this book, do it anyway.
Looking forward to having you on my learning journey!
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Nia is an expert leader who talks the talk and walks the walk. She is an academically awarded thought leader in self-aware leadership and practices self-aware leadership every single day in her role as a Director in a Children’s Charity.
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This is a good review, a reminder that we should face those fears and do what we want anyway.
I have not read the book but sounds great, thanks for sharing this Nia.