Art of Saying Goodbye: The 4 Farewells of Leaving Your Job
Knowing Self-Aware Leadership
Hello KSKOers
In my 25 years in the world of work I’ve seen lots of people come and go. The journey people take out of the door is not always the same. Some strut out of the front door with a bouquet and a big smile. Some fling the door open, breathe a big sigh of relief and never look back. Some choose to slink out of the back door, hoping that no-one notices. And some are walked around the lake, never to be seen again. Join me as I reminisce and share my experiences of saying farewell, goodbye and toodle-oo!
Looking forward to joining you on your learning journey!
Bouquets and Smiles
The majority of people leave in the best way possible. With congratulations from grief stricken colleagues and flowers from grateful managers. They have lunches organised and dinners co-ordinated. There will be taxis booked and mini-busses waiting at the end of laughter filled evenings of dancing and fun. There are kindly speeches and emotional gift giving ceremonies that signal the end of an era and celebrate the next big adventure. We’ll have been these people and we’ll have been colleagues of these people. We’ll have gladly contributed to their leaving gifts with a heavy heart and fond memories.
A Sigh of Relief
Many - too many - people will be clamouring for the door.
They’ll have been looking for another opportunity for a year or more. They’ll have been praying for an escape route from their vexatious manager and a culture that didn’t support them. There will have been people who’ve hated their jobs and their seniors for too long to mention and we’ll have felt their excruciating pain every day. We’ll have watched as they’ve tolerated poor leaders, bad managers and callous colleagues. If we’re lucky we’ll have merely watched and experienced it vicariously. If we’re unlucky, we’ll have lived it alongside them and felt the pain seep into our soul. We’ll have prayed for another job somewhere better and prayed to our God when the new door has been opened.
Slinking Out the Back Door
There are lots of people for whom the departure is too painful, too embarrassing, too quick or too slow. They’ve simply wanted to slink out the back door like goop down the plug-hole; quietly, unnoticed and without any fuss. A bad situation, a grievance, an argument or a disciplinary has meant that they’ve simply wanted to disappear without anyone noticing or drawing attention to their exit. They’ve wanted to avoid the leaving card and the leaving gift. The presentation of the bouquet; a step too far. A dinner out with colleagues; a meal too much. We’ll have desperately wanted to acknowledge them and wish them well. We’ll have yearned to say ‘it wasn’t all bad’, as we hug them goodbye. We may well have been them and hoped for a quiet withdrawal, as we engage stealth mode and slink out the back.
A Walk Around the Lake
I worked in an organisation that had a lake. It was near the C-suite offices and the CEO and chiefs would often be seen meandering around the lake of a lunchtime, taking some time to decompress and breath. If, however, you were invited to join the CEO for a walk around the late, you knew your days were numbered. I knew of two people who’d been walked around the lake today and didn’t come back tomorrow. There are people whose functions, behaviour and situations have become untenable. They’ve been given the option to resign or be dismissed. Many have chosen the former. We’ll have observed the clandestine discussions and we’ll have overheard some whispers. We’ll have put two and two together and come up with an empty desk. We’ll have heard of a scandal, an affair or missing funds. We’ll have been relieved at their departure and agreed that it was well overdue. This might have been us - a lake walk might have been our rude awakening. It might also have been the making of us.
4 Ways to Say a Good Goodbye
How can we make the best of our exit? How can we own our departure, learn from it and grow? Here are 4 ways to say a good goodbye and live to work another day…
1. Reflect on Your Contributions and Legacy: Take some time to appreciate the positive impact you've made, even in small ways. There will have been small wins and you will have had champions. Acknowledge the relationships you’ve built and the accomplishments you’re proud of. Aim to leave on a positive note, regardless of the circumstances so that you get to control how you feel and remember your departure.
2. Learn from Difficult Situations: If you're leaving due to a negative experience or toxic environment, use this as an opportunity to reflect on what went wrong. Recognise your triggers and learn how to avoid similar situations in the future, turning challenges into growth. Work out what a good organisational fit is for you. What values and organisational culture are you looking for in your next role?
3. Exit with Grace and Professionalism: Whether you’re celebrated or leaving quietly, finish your projects with care and professionalism. Make sure your job handover is done well and you can claim the moral high-ground. This ensures your reputation remains intact and you retain valuable relationships for future opportunities. You never know what’s around the corner, or who.
4. Manage Your Emotions and Stay Self-Aware: Throughout the transition, stay mindful of your emotions. Acknowledge any anxiety or excitement you feel and manage them constructively. Being emotionally self-aware will help you navigate the exit gracefully and move forward with clarity. It’s about maintaining the high ground and walking away with your head held high. Leave so that the memories you have in 10 years time are the best ones
The Last Word
Leaving a job can look different for everyone. Some people go out with a bang, celebrated with flowers and parties, while others feel relieved at getting away from a tough situation. Some just slip out quietly, avoiding any fuss, and some are bounced out the door like a stone skimming the glass waters on a lake.
However you say goodbye, it’s important to reflect on what you’ve contributed, learn from the tough times, and leave on good terms. Stay ‘cool, calm and collected’, manage your emotions and keep it professional so you can move on confidently to whatever’s next. Accept that all things come to an end and look forward to new opportunities. Embrace your place at the driving seat and look forward to the next stop on your career journey.
Nia is an expert leader who talks the talk and walks the walk. She is an academically awarded thought leader in self-aware leadership and practices self-aware leadership every single day in her role as a Director in a Children’s Charity.
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