I love the point on discernment. It's important to seek feedback from those we trust who genuinely care about our well-being, desire to see us improve, AND are willing to tell us the hard truth. A level of discernment is also required for those we trust. We can choose what we internalize regarding how we desire to evolve our way of showing up.
Dr Nia, when I started reading this, I thought this sounds exactly like me. At first, I get somewhat defensive, however it also depends on who's saying it, how they're saying it what my mood is at the time 😉
The one that stood out for me today was the feedforward not feedback? In my opinion, it kind of puts the person asking for it in some form of control.
When people have asked my opinions for things, my first question to them is "do you want me to be honest"? And if they say yes, I say, "are you sure"? It's not that I would be harsh or try to hurt their feelings, but I would be honest.
I'm the type person that always adds encouragement and positivity in the discussion.
Also was wondering, is your book available through Audible?
Glad I found you here ! I already know that I'm going to love learning and growing through (with) you 💕
It's critique, not always feedback, and it can be hard to hear depending on what you're prepared to do. Even when it's nicely tied and bowed, I don't want to seem ungrateful.
I'm a little weird, I kinda love feedback. I need it, I always ask others for it. Because that's really the only way I can get better in my leadership journey. I like it because it helps me understand how I come across and helps me with my blind spots.
I feel we don't give each other enough feedback, but still we hold people accountable for things we have never actually mentioned to them. I'm really making a conscious effort to give others honest feedback as well - but I'll admit that part is not always easy!
When it's conversations with my manager I just ask for it straight-up, general feedback "how am I doing" but also specific related to a project "did this meet your expectations, what could I change". In conversations with my team I ask them for it as well and I ensure to ask open ended questions "what could I do better" for example. For my team it's about building a culture where they feel comfortable enough to give me that feedback.
Love it! Feedback is one of the most difficult challenges emotionally. I particularly appreciate the notion of “Feedforward” as a way of reframing and of getting only productive evaluation. One of the biggest sticking points is our innate negativity bias, which tends to amplify bad news and suppress good news. If someone offers nine compliments and one criticism, we tend to focus almost entirely on the one criticism. Reframing can help mitigate that bias. Thanks!
Great article Nia, very insightful and good practical advice. I would say cultivating a proactive feedback approach, focusing on the future as part of a growth mindset, has served me well. Feedback is a gift.
I love the point on discernment. It's important to seek feedback from those we trust who genuinely care about our well-being, desire to see us improve, AND are willing to tell us the hard truth. A level of discernment is also required for those we trust. We can choose what we internalize regarding how we desire to evolve our way of showing up.
Yes. Definitely. Mindset impacts our choices and what we take from feedback
Dr Nia, when I started reading this, I thought this sounds exactly like me. At first, I get somewhat defensive, however it also depends on who's saying it, how they're saying it what my mood is at the time 😉
The one that stood out for me today was the feedforward not feedback? In my opinion, it kind of puts the person asking for it in some form of control.
When people have asked my opinions for things, my first question to them is "do you want me to be honest"? And if they say yes, I say, "are you sure"? It's not that I would be harsh or try to hurt their feelings, but I would be honest.
I'm the type person that always adds encouragement and positivity in the discussion.
Also was wondering, is your book available through Audible?
Glad I found you here ! I already know that I'm going to love learning and growing through (with) you 💕
Yes i agree with you about control. No one responds well when their autonomy is taken away
My book isn’t audio yet. It’s in hardback, paperback and ebook. It’s on my to do list but I haven’t explored how to do it yet.
It's critique, not always feedback, and it can be hard to hear depending on what you're prepared to do. Even when it's nicely tied and bowed, I don't want to seem ungrateful.
Yes - a put-down in a bow is still a put-down!
I'm a little weird, I kinda love feedback. I need it, I always ask others for it. Because that's really the only way I can get better in my leadership journey. I like it because it helps me understand how I come across and helps me with my blind spots.
I feel we don't give each other enough feedback, but still we hold people accountable for things we have never actually mentioned to them. I'm really making a conscious effort to give others honest feedback as well - but I'll admit that part is not always easy!
This is brilliant Sophie. Thanks for sharing. What techniques, activities or questions do you ask to get the feedback you need?
When it's conversations with my manager I just ask for it straight-up, general feedback "how am I doing" but also specific related to a project "did this meet your expectations, what could I change". In conversations with my team I ask them for it as well and I ensure to ask open ended questions "what could I do better" for example. For my team it's about building a culture where they feel comfortable enough to give me that feedback.
Brilliant!!
Love it! Feedback is one of the most difficult challenges emotionally. I particularly appreciate the notion of “Feedforward” as a way of reframing and of getting only productive evaluation. One of the biggest sticking points is our innate negativity bias, which tends to amplify bad news and suppress good news. If someone offers nine compliments and one criticism, we tend to focus almost entirely on the one criticism. Reframing can help mitigate that bias. Thanks!
Oh gosh, that's so true. You've just reminded me. When I did my A-levels, I got 2 x As and 1 x C. I was livid about the C!
Great article Nia, very insightful and good practical advice. I would say cultivating a proactive feedback approach, focusing on the future as part of a growth mindset, has served me well. Feedback is a gift.
Thank you Nick. I appreciate your feedback!
Do you have any particular tips to help people be proactive in seeking feedback?
What comes to mind is something I do at end of meetings, and simply go around and ask -for feedback - what went well, what can be improved..
Feedback is also best when it’s fresh
Oh I like that idea!!! I'm going to reflect on that and see how I could incorporate it! Thanks Nick